Dan Nainan's Trusty Compass

Why the stand-up comedian never gets lost

By Avital Andrews

December 4, 2014

Dan Nainan

Dan Nainan bills himself as the world's only Indian-Japanese comedian. "I get my sushi from 7-Eleven," he quips during a stand-up bit. "I'm like Harold and Kumar." President Barack Obama calls him "hilarious." Nainan talked to Sierra about his aversion to private jets, and about the compass he takes everywhere. 

I WAS AN ENGINEER at Intel and had to speak onstage at events all over the world, giving tech presentations. Being Indian and Japanese, the tech part came easy. The tough part was speaking in front of thousands of people. I needed to do something to get over the fear. First I took a Toastmasters class. The problem was that it was me and about a dozen other computer geeks. I needed something scarier, so I signed up for a comedy class.

Dan Nainan's compass Now I do stand-up, but only clean comedy. This is for two reasons: One, if I were to say dirty words onstage, my Asian parents would kill me. And two, I met Jerry Seinfeld early in my comedy career. He said, "You should work clean. You'll work everywhere." He was right. I also avoid using alcohol and drugs, which means I've never woken up next to someone unattractive. Though a number of women I know have. 

My parents met in Bloomington, Indiana, of all places. I guess my dad was looking for somewhere with the word "India" in it. When you're the child of Asian immigrants, you're taught to conserve. It's drilled into your head. One time I was staying at a hotel in Hawaii with my ex. When we left the room, I turned off the light, and she said, "Why? We're not paying for it." I couldn't be with someone like that. She didn't like my cat either. 

I live in a 750-square-foot apartment in New York. My monthly electric bill is $30, which is a very conscious effort. Everything's on a power strip. I don't watch TV. I turn down private jet charters on principle, though I've had offers. Flying private is the most wasteful thing you can do. 

I have a beat-up compass, a Silva Ranger, which I bring on every trip. It's old. It was in the family. I found it lying around and asked my dad if I could have it. There's no need for it, really, because I have a phone. Still, phone batteries die. This doesn't die. It's instantly bootable. The OS is really easy to learn. Plus it's got a mirror, so I can check if there's something in my teeth, or I can use it as a signal if I'm ever stuck somewhere. It's nice to know which direction you're going without fiddling with a phone. It's a good-luck charm and reminds me of my dad. 

I wish everyone could become environmentally conscious. There's so much more we can do. In Japan there are 23 different containers for recycling. In New York you pay 10 cents for a plastic bag. You know what? I wish it was $100. I see them flying down the street like urban tumbleweed. I'll use a bag hundreds of times. If I forget it, I'll carry everything by hand. I mean, think about that garbage patch in the ocean. I heard it was twice the size of Texas. Though I always thought trash was measured in New Jerseys.