Uncle Burt Good ol' Uncle Burt. When he's not being avuncular, he's being a royal pain in the butt. Burt's a good guy, there's just nothing he likes more than a sparring match. So you can rest assured he'll take a swing or two at your environmental sensibilities. Stay quick on your feet, though, and you can easily meet his every jab with a counterpunch or combination of your own. Who knows, by the time you head back to your corners, you may have set him straight on a thing or two.

Uncle Burt says: Obama's going to be a disaster. He'll run this country into the ground. The economy is going to hell, and he's up there talking about global warming, which is a damn hoax anyway.

So you say:
The economy is in the tank partly because Bush has done little to promote green energy and better fuel-efficiency standards. He's let oil companies run policy, allowed Detroit to stick to SUVs and Hummers, and totally ignored global warming. Green energy and cars will create new jobs and keep them on American soil, and that's what Obama supports. Green energy won't entirely solve our economic problems, but it's sure going to help it.

Uncle Burt says: You've really bought into that climate change hysteria, haven't you? We've had warm spells before. There was a time in the past thousand years when it was downright balmy in Northern Europe, crops were growing like gangbusters. You can't tell me this is something new. It's cyclical, like sunspots. This scotch is too weak.

So you say:
According to the National Snow and Ice Data Center, the Arctic became an island for the first time in 125,000 years when the Northwest and Northeast passages opened up at the same time. But sun spots, solar variations, and volcano activity have all been normal over the past 30 years -- even as global temperatures have been rising and ice caps melting.

Uncle Burt says: Well hell, those thermometers are all wrong anyway. They're in the middle of cities where all that asphalt and reflection from glass heats everything up. You can't rely on that!

So you say:
What you're talking about is known as the "Urban Heat Island" effect. It's true, it exists, but scientists have studied it thoroughly and have found that is has very little effect, and they adjust their data to reflect what effect there is. Furthermore, temperatures are based on global averages in trends and do not pinpoint exact temperature of the planet. The trend has been going up for three decades. Here's more on how scientists come up with their calculations: http://pubs.giss.nasa.gov/docs/2001/2001_Hansen_etal.pdf

Uncle Burt says: Ah, more gobbledygook. If it's such a serious problem, how come India and China aren't doing more to stop it? Why should we shoulder the burden when they're out there spewing more carbon than the rest of us?

So you say:
Uncle Burt, your information is so wrong! The U.S. puts out way more carbon emissions than they do per capita. It's unconscionable that we expect others to take action when we could do so much more -- and should. We're the 500-pound gorilla here.

Uncle Burt says: Well it's all just crying that the sky is falling, as far as I'm concerned. You can believe what you want to believe, but I'm with all those scientists who don't buy the global warming hoax. You granola-growers are all having the wool pulled over your eyes.

So you say:
Aw c'mon, Uncle Burt. Try to name a few of those scientists. You can't! As it happens, there are not only scientists but international leaders, corporate CEOs, religious leaders, even oil company executives, for goodness sake, who have gone on record with their position that global warming is real, and that we have to do something to stop it. Even John McCain said global warming would be a top priority. He supports cap-and-trade! I just hope you'll wake up and do your part.

Time for dessert?